Revenge Sex: Plot the Perfect Plan

Finding out that your woman has been getting a little something, something on the side can make a guy insane. However, before you find the guy banging your chick and slice off his ear, you may want to avoid jail time and bang his sister, or his mother or your woman’s best friend. Either way revenge sex can work out some deep seated anger while getting your rocks off at the same time. Plotting the perfect plan takes time, patience and even a little acting. When all is said and done you will be able to hopefully look back with a chuckle and a hard-on.

Play the ‘Woe is Me Card’ 

Once you have solid Intel on your girlfriend or your wife’s sloppy pussy then you automatically have a ‘get out of jail free’ card. This means that you can basically approach anyone you have wanted to have sex with but always refrained because you are not a cheater. Now, the gloves are off and if you can play the sad, I-just-got-cheated-on man, women will flock to stroke your soul and hopefully, your revenge stick too. This especially works well when you get into the psyche of some of her friends that always seemed a tad jealous of your relationship. They usually love to spread’em as their way of shedding their own inadequacy. It’s a win, win, you get a great bang and you also get to push your woman’s face in it.

Fuck the Offender’s Ilk

Track down anyone close to the douche bag that horned in on your girl and do your damndest to get them in bed. The deepest cut you can make is sleeping with their mom. This scenario has to be just right and if you can pull it off it is considered the Holy Grail of revenge fucks.

Revenge Fuck Your Woman

This takes great restraint as you will be having sex with the very woman that is cheating on you. You must remove all emotion (especially anger) for this to take place as it will be forever embedded in her mind. Be especially nice and treat her to a great meal and/or movie. After all, this is going to be goodbye so you want to really paint the scene. Once you get her in bed you must perform on all eight cylinders. You want to do your best to give her as many orgasms as possible. Then, when you are ready for the ‘money shot’ put into motion your own or one of Advisemen’s Vile Sex Acts for her to remember you by. Then, as she is still trying to figure out why you just completely defiled her, throw your printed out evidence of her affair on her dripping naked body. Then, grab your pre-packed bags and split forever or throw hers out the door with her close behind.

Revenge sex can be harsh but necessary. Refrain from violence or arguing and simply let your dick do the damage.

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