Awkward Sex: How to Handle Some Embarrassing Bedroom Scenarios

Getting naked sheds our aesthetic armor and leaves us standing in full, vulnerability mode. Movie sex always seems like the perfect circumstance as it often lacks any real, human interaction that makes life what life is, messy. More often than not there are a variety of awkward sex situations that can take us by surprise. Learning how to handle some embarrassing sex scenarios beforehand will make sure that any surprises that arise, you will be able to handle.

Farting

Continued pumping, twisting, grinding and thrusting during sex all take their toll on the digestive tract. Inevitably someone will let loose a quiet fizzle or a loud trumpet of a fart. If this happens, immediate embarrassment and shame can emerge. Rather than run for the hills, if she has the offending ass, let her know that it is no big deal and laugh it off. If your butt has squeaked one out apologize profusely and assure her that it was a complete accident. As far as the odious smell goes, always keep an aromatic candle lit in the room and/or have some incense burning during your session.

STD’s

Divulging a history of a sexually transmitted disease while naked and ready can be a real sucker punch. However, it is important to get as much information and practice safe sex before going any further. It is always best to offer full disclosure beforehand although many times it can be thought of as a relationship killer from the start which is why so many people wait until the 11th hour to inform. Knowing this, if a woman confesses such a thing try to be as open-minded as possible making sure there is no chance of becoming infected. If she has come this far chances are you are safe and offering an understanding ear can be just the thing she needs to give you great, mind blowing sex.

Woody Goes South

When your hard-on decides to take a nap in the middle of some sweaty pumping it can create a real psychological mind fuck. If this happens, quickly switch to oral and finger mode. Sometimes too much stimulation will shut down a perfectly good woody and all it takes is a little break to get it back in fucking mode. Whatever you do, do not begin beating yourself up as this will make it worse.

“I Love You”

If you just met and these 3 words pop out of her mouth during sex, be careful. You may have a nut job on your hands. Whatever you do, do not reciprocate. Act like you didn’t hear her and afterward do not mention it. If it happens again cut her loose.

Smells, screams, noises and other physical surprises can create awkward sex. Remembering that we are all humans and far from perfect will keep you grounded if something arises. Anyone that responds with shock and judgment is just not worth it, including you.

 

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About the author: Matt Tomas

As a writer Matt enjoys tackling many subjects with impeccable research and creative humor. He also works as a Professional Actor, Licensed Massage Therapist, Licensed Process Server and Professional Drummer.


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