Blind Date Advice: You Might Need To Just Get Trashed

Everybody’s got advice for going on blind dates—You know the ol’ bullshit like “be yourself” and “don’t eat like a stupid fat slob”.  That’s not the kind of advice that men really need when they’re going on a blind date.  They need practical blind date advice.  Like some real world dating tips.

The problem with blind dates is that it’s like playing the lottery—if the lottery forced you to go on a lot of shitty dates.  You really don’t know what you’re going to get when you step into, well, wherever you’re headed.  Generally your friends, or your mom, or your aunt are setting you up with some girl who would be “perfect for you”.  What the really mean is “I know someone just as pathetic and desperate as you.”  Don’t be offended; they’re just trying to help.  A  lot of awesome relationships come out of blind dates, and I’m not being facetious.

So what are some of the practical dating tips for actually going on the date?  Well the venue is a good place to start.  Don’t pick a place that’s too swanky, or quiet.  You’re going out with someone you’ve never met, so pick some place loud (but not too loud) and casual (but not sleazy).  Somewhere between a piss-on-the-floor dive and a 4 star restaurant.  A good date location lowers the stakes and eases the pressure of the awkward first meeting a little bit.

During the date itself, you can’t let yourself get too psyched out.  Whether she’s gorgeous, hideous, intelligent or flat, you need to try to enjoy the night. The date is already happening, so just enjoy the meal.  Find something cool to talk about—maybe you guys dig the same music or something.  Don’t let the food and evening go to waste.  You’ll appreciate it.

Hopefully things don’t get extremely sticky and weird, like her bringing her own steak knife, or a gun.  Maybe she’s got an unsettling, aggressive glance that makes you fear for your safety.  If this in fact is the case, you should probably have an escape plan.  When a date becomes unsafe, don’t worry about saving face—just leave!  But if she seems nice, but not your type, don’t be a dick.  No one likes that.

And as a last word of advice, as far as practical blind date advice goes, if things get supremely weird, get drunk.  Just trashed!  It will make for a good story someday, or at the very least, you’ll forget the night even happened!  Who knows?  Hopefully the date goes well, and if not, so be it.



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