The Walk Of Shame: That Dreaded 20 Minutes

For the sexually active men of the world, this is one of the upsides and downsides of a productive night, depending on how you look at it.  The dreaded walk of shame can make you feel like a million bucks if the night went well, but if it turned out poorly, for whatever reason, it can also make you feel like shit.  If it makes you feel any better, we know how you feel.

If you aren’t familiar with the terminology here, the walk of shame is when you have to head home after a night of “not-sleeping” at someone’s place of living.  In layman’s terms, it’s when you head home in the morning after having sex the night before.  Most commonly this occurs at college campuses, but it can really happen anywhere.

This is the rundown of the whole process—you go out, meet a (hopefully) sexy lady and go home with her.  You two smash, you spend the night, and then in the morning you cruise back to your place.  You’re probably wearing last night’s clothes.  You might have a blistering hangover.  The sun will probably be high in the sky and a little too bright for your just-woken up eyes.  Maybe you’ve just had morning sex.  Either way, the walk of shame makes for some interesting stares from people who are very aware of what you’ve been up to.

Everyone can tell you’re on a walk of shame because you look like a disheveled version of you evening self—it clashes with the Saturday or Sunday morning sun.  From personal experience, the worst part of the walk of shame stems from a bad hangover by which I mean puking on the sidewalk.  The walk also gives you time to cherish or regret your previous night’s endeavors—that depends on who you’ve been sleeping with.

In the even of your walk of shame, I recommend you stop and get breakfast with a buddy.  If no one’s around, it’s okay to grab a bite to eat by yourself.  After a furious, sleepless, drunken night a hot cup of coffee and an omelette is the perfect way to start the next day.

Whatever happened the night before, don’t sweat the dreaded walk of shame too much—embrace it.  Women will look at you disapprovingly, but men will give you a nod of respect because they understand what you’ve been doing.  It’s something to be proud of really, so soak it up!

 

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About the author: Cody Pomeray


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