Breaking Up With Her: The Steps Of What NOT To Do
It’s upon you; the dreaded time has come and you know you have to end it. The girl you’ve been seeing just isn’t cutting it anymore. She insulted your mom, she’s too jealous; she isn’t willing enough in bed. Whatever the reason you’ve decided to end it, you need to do it the right way. Breaking up with her isn’t just going to affect you; it will stay with her for a long time to come. Here are some things NOT to do in a break up and the steps to get you there.
Step One- The Right Route of Communication
You’re a man (or you should be if you’re on our site) and that means you have to act like one. The days of sending a text or phone call, or even a detailed voice mail are over. Facebook or e-mails are not acceptable once you’ve passed your boyish high school days. You MUST do this face to face. Yes, even if you’ve only been seeing her for a couple of weeks. Set a time to talk to her in person. Somewhere semi-private is best. A crowded area won’t be sincere and she will be embarrassed, and doing it alone at her home will drag out and turn into something awful.
Step Two- Not Too Short, Not Too Long
The amount of time you spend on letting her go is also very important. You never want to leave a girl with too many questions. You also don’t want it to drag out into something that will only go in circles and end in the same result. Helping her understand why you are ending it is vital to the health of the break up. It may feel awkward at the moment but if you do it right it will really help her out; which leads us to the next step.
Step Three- Don’t Be Too Harsh
When she needs help in knowing what went wrong or what she did wrong, don’t divulge too much info but also don’t leave her wondering what you meant. If you do either, she will probably try and contact you down the road because she wasn’t met with the best closure possible. If you are too harsh it can not only hurt her self-esteem but also may make her want to retaliate and bash you back. This will only turn the break up ugly fast and cause more trouble than good.
Step Four- Moving on (Don’t Stay Friends)
One of the biggest mistakes people make when breaking up is offering to stay friends. This rarely works out and normally will end in some sort of disaster such as:
• Regrettable hook up
• New girlfriend jealousy
• Seeing her date a friend
Any of these things happening will not be in your best interest. Hooking up after breaking up will end in her getting clingy again and wanting to rekindle the old relationship. If you get a new girlfriend she will no doubt, forbid you from seeing your ex-lover and that’s a conversation you do not want to have. Lastly, if you stay friends she will stick around your friend group, eventually leading to her possible (and more than likely) hook up or new relationship with a close buddy of yours. This may be okay with you but many negative things could come from it in the long run.
Now that you’re armed with some good information on breaking up with her, you can make the process a lot easier and a little less painful for both of you. No matter what you do, it will feel a bit uncomfortable and of course isn’t the most fun thing in the world to do. But what you don’t want to do is drag it out. The longer you wait, the worse it will get. Be a man and let her down gently. Then go and find Mrs. Right.
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About the author: Jordan Sarah Weatherhead
Jordan Sarah is a professional music journalist and poet; she is also the founder of Wet Ink Writing Services and www.storybrookellc.com. Her book "Naked Truth" is also available for purchase through her website or www.amazon.com!