The Rules for Being a Great Wingman

Hitting the bar or club scene nowadays takes some real skills. To be able to lock in a phone number or better yet get the horizontal dance is a game with some high odds. This is where a friend can save the day. Bringing along a bud to attract, advise, defend, deflect or divert can be an essential move given the stakes involved in the ever changing game of pussy shopping. It is the rules for being a great wingman that should be laid out before trying to get laid. Here are a few to peruse that just may help you lock in your radar without any distractions.

Embrace the Fatty

Most hot chicks have a fatty friend to make them look thinner and hotter. A wingman needs to know that if his bud catches a rap with a long legged floss butt beauty he needs to lean into the fat friend like he’s going to marry her. Buy her drinks, talk her up and maybe even throw her his bone if she’s looking for a quick bang.

Talk Up Your Boy

Nothing negative can ever be said by the wingman about his bud. Defending everything and anything possible even if it means stretching the truth is an essential wingman rule.

Get the Info

When talking to the fat (or even ugly friend) the wingman should always search for any nugget of information about his bud’s conquest that might be of use. This can include whether she has a boyfriend or husband, comes from money, is packing a hidden cock or likes to bang anything that walks.

Know When to Bounce

If it looks like his boy needs some space to lip lock and finger jam, the wingman must take the queue and skedaddle. It doesn’t matter if he has no way to get home, no money or even if it is his car they came in. Hand over the keys and say, “Catch you tomorrow brother” and split. If fatty or ugly is throwing a wrench in it, then short of dragging her away by the hair, the wingman should get her out of there as well.

Never, Ever, Steal the Prize

If you are a superb wingman it can have its downside for your pal. As you tap dance for the friend telling jokes, buying drinks and being all positive there is the chance of catching the eye of the chick your friend is working on. If this happens and you see her getting wet for you grab your bud and let him know. If he thinks he can still work it then get lost however he could surprise you and offer her up. If that happens then go in for the kill.

The rules for being a great wingman should be posted and memorized so whoever is doing the winging doesn’t forget his place in the land of the jelly roll dance. Being a wingman is an important responsibility that can be passed down from generation to generation.


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