How to Get a Massage (without the tug)

The back room pull jobs many guys still frequent are not massages. These are Asian fantasies that often end up becoming an expensive and illegal jack job you could have done yourself with Internet porn and some good lube. How to get a massage goes way beyond the stigma of only being a luxury for the privileged elite or prostitution in disguise. It is a therapy that helps all kinds of health issues such as pre-natal discomfort, sports injuries, certain cancers, trauma recovery, osteoporosis and depression just to name a few. Below is some advice on how to get the best bodywork for you.

Get Over Your Boner

The first thing most guys worry about when they get a professional massage is sporting wood. This is why most will ask for a female therapist thinking that if they get an erection with a woman present it avoids having to deal with deep homophobic fears. The truth is that a licensed therapist (if your therapist is not licensed then run for the hills) is similar to a doctor inasmuch that they are not in the least bit judgmental when it comes to weight gain, excessive body hair or erections. It is all part of the human condition and they are trained to deal with it all in a professional manner.

Picking From the Massage Menu

There are several modalities offered when getting a massage. Know what to choose (some can be combined) so you are not disappointed.

Swedish – This is relaxing, light work that does not manipulate the muscles too deeply.

Deep – Just like it says, your therapist will be digging deep into your musculature with their elbows, fists and forearms.

Medical – This addresses specific medical issues such as acute scar tissue reduction, migraines, fibromyalgia and temporal mandibular joint disorder (TMJ).

Sports – Same as medical except this targets specific muscle groups used in your sport activity.

Acupressure – Deep point work.

Reflexology – Points worked on the feet, hands and ears.

When You Get a Massage

Below is a checklist you can follow to get the best out of your massage experience:

• Make sure you are showered and have emptied your bowels.

• Do not drink alcohol or take drugs before or after.

• Go nude under the towel or wear your underwear, however you feel comfortable.

• Let your therapist know about any injuries such as weak knees, headaches or back surgery. Be specific, describing exact locations and type of pain.

• Determine what pressure feels best and let them know. Deep, medium or light.

• Do not talk unless you want to impede your therapist’s concentration and instead have an expensive conversation as opposed to a great massage.

• When finished, drink plenty of water.

Knowing how to get a massage can help your particular ailments or simply relax your body and mind. Either way, once you get a good one you will be running back every chance you get.


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