Bachelor Pad: Do’s and Don’ts

If you plan on taking a woman back to your bachelor pad, you best be making that crib a nest of heavenly delight. There is nothing worse than scoring a smoking hot mama to only have her sour on your stinky, bad furniture, rotting food fridge home. There are some simple things you can do to clean up your living space that would even make your mom smile. Face it, there is no need to live like a snot-nosed, college kid anymore. It is time to man-up and exude some class that will make any guest jealous of your props.

Man Stench

Chances are you do not smell your own aroma. This is a sweaty, reeking man stench that embeds itself in unchanged sheets, multiple used towels and several days of worn clothes to save on laundry cost. Your nostrils will be used to it but someone from the outside can potentially be knocked over. Keep your smell at bay by changing and washing your bed linens three or four times per week, limit wearing the same clothes because they ‘seem’ still clean and only use a towel two times in a row.

Get a Vacuum

You must vacuum your home as much as possible. Old skin particles, hair, outside dirt, dust and more can be invisible to the eye but may turn your place into a pigsty before you know it.

Find a Gay Dude

Most gays know their interior design. If you have a gay friend, bring them over and ask for their help. Sometimes all it takes is a few furniture re-adjustments or an outright shopping spree. Make your home match with colors that suit your personality and not a twelve-year olds bedroom.


This is where you really show your true colors. You have got to keep your bathroom extra clean. That means a scrubbed toilet and tub at least once a week, vacuumed throw rugs and sparkling mirrors. Do not let her ‘freshen up’ only to want to escape.

Girly Crap

Take your cue from a female and get some candles, a plant or two, room deodorant (like a plug-in air freshener or incense sticks), tasteful artwork and interesting do-dads like a small sculpture or photos of friends and family.

Put Away Your Personals

There is no need to announce your personal tastes or needs. Keep your bong, prescription drugs (she will snoop in your medicine cabinet), blow up doll, porn stash, and any other freaky or divulging items out of sight.

Hire a Pro

If you can afford it, avoid much of the above list by hiring a cleaning person. Once a week they will turn your place into a veritable hotel room.

Living in a bachelor pad is liberating. Make the best of it by creating a space that you enjoy living as well as entertaining in. Women who see this effort will surely be impressed making it that much easier for you to show them your cunning linguist moves.


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