How to Break Up: Make it Fast and Easy

Some relationships can become a roller coaster ride of emotions that eventually end in separation. It can be ugly or mutual but in the long run, if it is just not working out, breaking up beats unnecessary drama that you will eventually walk away from anyway. It is the how to break up part that is usually the trickiest aspect of getting on with your life. A whole spectrum of battered feelings may erupt, without notice, in the most inconvenient of situations. If you need to break off a relationship it is best to map out how, where and when you are going to drop the bomb. There really is no good time but you can lessen the blow if specific planning is implemented.

Break Up Locations

Make sure you are in a private setting. Telling someone it is over when they are in a public place or around family (especially children) can make for an embarrassing and potentially scary encounter. Voices may get loud, items may be thrown and in extreme cases police could be summoned.

When to Have the Sit Down

You may have already broken up in your head but if it is the wrong timing you can not only devastate someone more, you can end up looking like a real prick. Make sure there are no holidays, birthdays or prior committed events in the way. Mornings are usually best as it gives the person time to process the news throughout the day, hopefully using their support system to lean on. Mornings will also allow the person to actually get some sleep in the evening rather than stay up all night in agony.

What to Say

With the exception of an infidelity, trying to remain calm and somewhat business-like will help you stay focused. Remember, whatever you say will be remembered for many years to come so choose your words wisely. If you are so inclined, write down your breakup monologue and practice it in front of a mirror. Being prepared for this highly emotional task will ground you, avoiding a discussion that could veer off course and manipulate you back into the relationship. Also, do not commit to a friendship right away but instead let her know that you think time apart would be best for a while.


Do not linger. Say your peace and get out of there. Hugging is okay but not recommended because this could lead to, “I-just-broke-up-with-you-and-feel-bad-but-I’m-horny” sex. This you will wholly regret.

Mutual Friends

Breakups often separate long standing friendships compounding the process that much more. Stay away from mutual friends for a while if you can. If not, when you are socializing with your group do not mention or ask about your ex.

Knowing how to break up rather than going at it by the seat of your pants can suppress an otherwise ugly, drawn out experience. Be as compassionate as you can and walk away with your head high.


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